My marriage lasted 10 years and produced 3 children (having a daughter from a previous destructive relationship) but the constant mental and physical abuse I suffered took its toll. Leaving me scared, unconfident and painfully shy, I had been made to bury who I really was, my love of spirituality and everything that made me individual.
When finally the children were being put at risk, again I finally found the courage to break free; facing the future on my own with a year old baby and 3 children aged 7 – 14.
Through this harsh period, the ending of my marriage, also having never lost the weight from the birth of my children leaving me at a size 20; I knew who I really was, had to come back, I was not going to give up…like my ancestors…I was a warrior.
A year in planning saw the start of an accounting degree at the Guildhall in London only to have my dreams quashed by the repossession of the family home. Undeterred, I went to work for a bank and studied at night, first gaining an NVQ and then moving to studying a professional qualification.
In 8 years I had moved from being an accounts assistant to Financial Controller, having worked in every industry and every field of accounting.
My energetic strength came back when I joined a Spiritualist church and realised how powerful my energy connection really was. Developing as a healer and medium, everything started to make sense, confidence began to return and I lost weight.
For the first time I understood, it was the inner energy that guides our thoughts, so more and more I relied on my natural instinct and found myself doing increasingly more contract work, aware that I was sent not for the roles…but for the people.
I had to understand why I kept getting into the ‘wrong’ type of relationships and as I developed my energetic communication, I began to understand it is our beliefs that are the signals for our cells (now scientifically proven), which are transmitted throughout our body via our nervous system (electrical system) and determine the frequency at which our cells and organs resonate. What we resonate out is the same frequency we attract back in experiences and opportunities.
So when you have been caught up in a negative relationship, which leads you to the ‘belief’ you are ugly, no good, stupid or useless you resonate this out through your cellular frequency and attract further relationships with people who will come from the same frequency i.e. they come from lack of self belief in themselves and will therefore use control on others to compensate and so the cycle of controlling relationships begins again.
This is why when you come out of relationships; you need to spend time ‘defining’ who you are. Not as a mother, sister , brother or ex partner but who YOU are, your values, your passions and desires for leading a life you love.
Learning to ‘transmute’ the energy of sex is a way to powerfully work on you from within. Sexual energy is one of the highest vibratory frequencies and when this is transmuted, moved into other areas it can accelerate healing, success and development by tenfold. This allows you to focus on developing you as a fully magnificent being, ready to begin creating your new reality.
Once the ‘foundations’ of your confidence, self belief and most importantly, your self love are laid down, that sexual energy can be moved back into loving, supportive and fully functional relationships as you will then be resonating from this frequency.